Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
