I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
