Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
