I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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