drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
