Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize