when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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