That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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