don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
