What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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