I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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