To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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