I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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