I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize