Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
