this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
