Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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