Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife š¬
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I need advice on ways to politely say āfuck you on your way to hellā.
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