he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
