Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
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Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
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That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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