He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
