i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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