I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you would pick up someone in the library
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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