How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
this beer tastes like vomit already
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
