Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
