everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
