I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
