she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
