You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We had sex on a dog bed..
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila