I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize