i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!