just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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