she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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