i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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