Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
