Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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