I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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