He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.