He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
