Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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