drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
