Have you finally orgasmed yet?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
