Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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