god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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