It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
