guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
and she was petting her beer can
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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