You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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