My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
