if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize