so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
