I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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