so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
