he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
