you're like a bully in the Christmas story
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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