I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
This toilet bowl is my home.
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