she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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