btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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